1000 miles is a LONG DRIVE INSIDE A CAR!!!!!!!

27 MAY 2004 - 11.59p
The gallery at which I was employed for two and a half years will be shutting its doors for good on June 30th. My heart truly goes out for those who still work there and I can't imagine what a punch in the stomach it was to hear the news. I very sincerely hope that my former coworkers and managers all find something else that's good... there is something just good about that place and the people. That was the only job I really loved. It was an honor to have worked there.

I'll leave you with a haiku written by my long lost friend and former coworker, Lisa...

Sixteen years of art
Then just like that, it's over
Saraswati shrugs

27 MAY 2003 - 1.34p
One month until my birthday!!

I'm sincerely hoping that all of the rotten things in my life have just come to a head and now everything is going to get better. I've been hoping that for a long time, though.

However, I did just get the best haircut ever. Seriously. It was cheap and it is by far the best haircut I have ever had. It makes up for all of the lousy haircuts I've had since August.

And a company did just call me regarding a job I applied for some time ago... it's only a temporary month-long position, but hell... I'm at the point where I'll take anything I can get.

24 MAY 2004 - 8.22a
In case you were ever wondering what the "missing scenes" were from the Nine Inch Nails video for "Closer," watch the unedited version of the video here. I know I have been kept awake many nights wondering about the missing scenes. Now I can rest easily knowing it was just a monkey tied to a cross.

When you're done watching that video, watch this sonic youth video. I had nearly forgotten about this one... and I was so excited to see a very, very pretty Kim Deal. So, yeah, watch that.

Lacey has returned from her cruise and I wonder if I will ever see her again... sigh. I hope so. Not only do I want to hear all of the icky details of her vacation, I have a lot to fill her in on, AND I want to start maybe thinking about this year's birthday extravaganza since we skipped last year. Lacey... where are you?

I saw a bee drilling a hole in our deck the other day. It was this big, fat bee covered in sawdust (from all the drilling it was doing). It turns out there's such a thing as carpenter bees. We sprayed anti-bee chemicals in the hole it was drilling.

So, yeah, Tony took me to see that documentary about the guy who eats nothing but McDonalds for a month. I can't remember the last time I had fast food (aside from Sheetz... but does Sheetz count?), so it's not really a big deal that I will absolutely never eat it again after watching this. I think parts of this thing were kind of... um, slanted and a bit extreme... I read the guy's blog the other day and he just seems like so much of an activist... but the film was interesting, nonetheless.

Yes, so Tony's been really upset that I neglect to mention anything about him in my blog. I told him for every good thing I wrote, I'd have to write something bad. That was the good thing: Tony took me to a movie. Are you ready for the bad thing? He took me to a movie after fighting with me on the phone in the morning. He had some Modest Mouse bootleg which just magically appeared overnight... I didn't know that he had visited a friend the night before and they burned it for him. So when there was some confusion about the origins of this cd, he accused me of being snotty when really I was just sincerely confused. Long story short, he made me cry because he was being so mean to me... and then he called me "weak" when I cried. OH. And then when I asked him to go to the mall with him, he said no because I probably only wanted to go so he'd buy me something... what the...???

Okay... so maybe that's a few more bad things than good things... so I'll add a couple more good things to balance it out. Um... Tony bought me a milkshake when he came over... and he watched tv with me... and a couple weeks ago he bought me a gbv ticket for Dayton.

Other things are going well. Horses are all good. Newt has been fantastic and Lucy is as sweet as always. Henry had his first bath the other day. He hated it at first but once he stopped squirming, I think he realized it felt kind of good... and he LOVED it. Then I tried to give Grandpa a bath, but he was so bad. He hates me now. I did manage to wash his legs, at least, because they were all crusty with mud and gunk.

I'm going to start compiling my birthday list soon...

21 MAY 2004 - 10.36a
I don't ever post stuff like this... but this made me laugh.

21 MAY 2004 - 7.53a
Yep... it's been a while. I miss Lacey. I want her to come home. I don't even know how I'm going to fill her in on all of the week's goings on... it will take days. I hope she and Becky and Mary have a safe return and enjoyed their vacation.

I saw these cute Steve Madden sandals at Dillard's while shoe shopping a week or two ago... I finally remembered to search the internet to see if I could find them cheaper elsewhere. I couldn't find them anywhere in the color I wanted... but David managed to find them for me... and with his discount I could get them waaaaaaay cheaper than I saw them for at Dillard's!!

Still no job. No surprises there. I'm so undesirable.

Umm... I have no idea what my weekend plans are. Hopefully I'll get out of here at some point, but right now I am not terribly optimistic.

10 MAY 2004 - 1.12p
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!
In unrelated birthday news, Spoon is playing in Louisville, KY the night before my birthday. Just when I thought I'd be forced to attend the Suicide Girls burlesque show in Cleveland, it looks like I'll be heading out of town. I love Spoon, I love Louisville, I love my birthday. What more could a girl want? Well... a lot of things, actually... it's a bit too early for my birthday list, though.

Unfortunately Rupert did not win Survivor last night. Super dumb Amber won... and her equally super dumb sidekick Rob proposed to her. I wanted to puke. There is still hope for Rupert, however... one of the all-stars is going to win a million dollars based on audience vote. I encourage everyone reading this to go to cbs.com and vote a million times for Rupert. Vote, vote, vote! The winner will be announced on Thursday's special show thing.

Okay... off to ride the horses...

09 MAY 2004 - 5.29p
Out for dinner with Tony last night and I ran into long lost Ivy. She barely recognized me, and Tony later pointed out that it was probably my glasses. I forget about that sometimes. Anyhow, we chatted a bit and she's got a year or so left at Akron. She gave me her number and I'll most likely call her this week.

It is such a lazy, lazy day today. I'm glad I rode both Newt and Charlie yesterday and worked on stuff with Lucy. She went for a trailer ride around the block. This week she heads to the barn where Newt is at for a slumber party! Actually, it's not really a party. She's having some nasty little teeth removed (very routine). She will be tranquilized for the ordeal, so maybe it will be kind of like a party.

I'm tired. Survivor All-Stars ends tonight! Must save all of my energy for that... keeping fingers crossed for Rupert!

07 MAY 2004 - 1.30p
Things are looking up, my ass! For starters... Henry got loose again yesterday when I wasn't home. I came home to see him just outside of the fence, grazing. Both neighbors on either side came running over... nobody could tell me how long he'd been loose or how he got loose... but the weirdo neighbor told me he "tried to corral him" but Henry kept running away. Yeah, thanks cowboy.

Okay, so this job that I interviewed for the other day... a friend of Tony's works there. Great. We all know I'm not super comfortable around any of his friends... but I don't even care. Sooo... Tony asked me if I wanted to know what his friend said (about me interviewing). I asked if it was good news or bad news because if it wasn't good news, I didn't want to know. So then it became neither good nor bad news... so thanks for even bringing it up, Tony. I made him tell me anyway. Apparently I was just the first interview of the day... okay, this was something I had already known, but the way I interpreted Tony's statement was that there were fifty gazillion other interviews after mine. Great. You know, when I'm stressing out over money and a mule and god knows what else in the first place, the absolute last thing I need is to stress out over this, too. I mean... I don't need to think about how fifty gazillion other people probably have better experience and are probably currently employed (I'm sure it looks just fantastic on a resume that I haven't actually worked since August)... but of course, a million of these scenerios are now running through my head.

And you know, if they don't hire me, I'll be fine. I can deal with flat out rejection. I can accept somebody being better suited for the job. That's great... but I just don't need to be worrying about it until it actually happens.

Ahhh, dramatic and depressed... that's me.

I could probably really use a drink tonight. I have to pick up Joanne at the airport, so I'm likely going to miss my friends going out. This really blows because I feel like I just have a lump of stress in my chest.

I should probably go riding now. Newt and the Charlie pony. Weee.

06 MAY 2004 - 11.36a
Hot off the presses...

This is just the kind of day today is... lounging donkeys and mules.

And here's the princess, photogenic and cute as always...

What happens when your cute princess wants to investigate the camera...

05 MAY 2004 - 11.56a
I would like to extend sincere thanks to everybody who was keeping fingers crossed, praying, and lighting candles for me. I had a follow-up interview today for a position I'm actually quite interested in. Please, please, please keep thinking good thoughts for me... I hope I'm offered the job!!

No, this was not for the shady place I mentioned in an earlier entry... I went on that interview the other day, and it was just that: SHADY. Even after interviewing, I'm still not totally sure I know what the job was. I did get to hear a lot about Applebee's, wheelchair basketbal, and the army, though. Don't ask.

So... things are indeed looking up.